Oh No! Not Another New DJ!
by MrHobbes
Summary: Lily's a WHAT? Ray's with WHO? Who's that hanging off of Travis? Robbie did WHAT! Jeez! Who's that on the radio? Oh no! Not another new DJ. (Parody. Don't read if you htink your story might be made fun of in here)
1. Who's That?

A/N: Ok. I know this is coming close right after AKADropsOfJupiter wrote her spoof. however. I have been wanting to write this for a month and a half. She just beat me to the punch. This is however going to be a bit different style of parody. It's going to be multiple chapters. It will poke fun at a few stories from this fanfic website (I won't name them directly). I do not mean for this to be insulting . . . So if you think I might poke a bit of fun at your story, or just don't like parodies. . .Use the back button. . .NOW. This was your friendly disclaimer from MrHobbes. Have a Nice Day. Oh yeah. . .For you that care this will sort of be a script form, although not really. The Narrator. Picture 'Papa Beaver's Story Time', etc. Heh. It will be told in the entire past tense. .So yeah. That's the last thing I promise. Oh fine. One more thing. For those who don't know who Papa Beaver is, just picture and old man, known for being a storyteller, sitting in a rocking chair. . . telling a story to many young children. OK! One final note. I notice a rash of parodies slowly going up on this thing. I really thought about not posting this (even though I will write it). . .but I decided to anyway. The few parodies I have read are either outright stupid (no offense, but I just am stating my opinion). . .Or they are funny but are just too outright with it. I hope to have some slight humor in here. It will be told like a full story. Many chapters. Etc. .. It will have a plot. It will be a LOT like Not Another Teen Movie.  
  
PS: I don't happen to own RFR. Sad huh?  
  
Here we go. . .  
  
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Papa Beaver: Let us go back to a happier place. Let's go to a place in Canada. Roscoe, Canada. It's a beautiful town. It's a wonderful town. Roscoe, Canada. . . The town anything could happen.  
  
Little Beaver #1: Tell us more Papa!  
  
Littly Beaver #2: Yeah! Tell us!  
  
Papa Beaver: Of course little ones. All in good time..  
  
Now this all starts about a girl. There was a young woman in Roscoe.  
Her name was Lily Randall. She and a group of friends. . .started a  
radio station. They wanted to be heard. They wanted to let the world  
(Well actually Roscoe) know that they would not be held back by the  
conforming attitudes of the school and the radio station of the school  
(Yo', and Hello! This is Cougar Radio. Your voice). Lily Randall was  
a beautiful girl. The affections of many boys were on her. Now, One  
day Lily was with her group of friends. They happened to be three  
different boys. Now everyone in Roscoe had a different idea of who  
Lily should be with. People would shout in the streets, "OMG! OMG!  
LILY SO NEEDS TO BE WITH RAY!!!!! OMG!" Now, Others would shout, "OMG!  
OMG! She SO NEEDS TO BE WITH TRAV! OHMIGOD!!!" Many of them actually  
were amazed at Travis' real age also. There was the intermittent, "He  
is SO not 20 years old! He CAN NOT BE! OMG! LIKE TOTALLY HE HAS TO BE  
14!" Anywho. Lily was with her group of friends, like I said. They  
were all walking together toward the station. They did that every  
time. They always showed up at the station together. When they arrived  
the entered and little did they know. . .a girl around the age of 14  
(the supposed ages of the group of friends. . .) was sleeping on a  
bench outside of the station when she woke up to the sound of them  
entering. Looking around she watched them closely and giggled. "Oh my  
god. Like totally. They are RFR! Oh My GOD!"  
  
About an hour and a half the gang reappear from the door of the  
station. The girl, who happened to stick around and wait for them for  
that hour and a half instead of send them letters and blackmail them  
or something, giggles and runs up to them. "Hi! I'm Alex!"  
  
They look at her and roll their eyes before saying, "Hi." Ray looks  
evilly at her before she says, "Hey man! Why are you looking at me  
like that?"  
  
Ray simply commented, "Hey Man."  
  
Travis rolled his eyes and says, "Confucius say; If you live in a  
house of glass. . .do not throw rocks."  
  
Alex just looks at him and says, "Uh right. What do you mean by  
THAT?"  
  
Travis nods and says, "Confucius say: If you live in a house of glass,  
undress in the basement."  
  
Alex sighed and said, "Look. I don't know what you mean. That is too  
deep for me. Ok."  
  
Travis rolled his eyes and sighed before Lily stuck out her hand and  
said, "Hi! I'm Lily Randall." She was the nice one in the group. But  
instead of shaking her hand Alex was looking at Travis. He was looking  
at the trees, not noticing a thing. . ..  
  
Little Beaver #1: This is awesome Papa!  
  
Little Beaver #2: Yeah! Keep Going!  
  
Papa Beaver: Alright little'ns. 


	2. It's You RFR!

Papa Beaver: Ok. . .I'll continue.  
  
Little Beaver #1: Yay!  
  
Little Beaver #2: WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Papa Beaver: Calm down young'ns.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes at the new girl 'Alex'. She kept looking at  
Travis, and ignoring Lily. "Alex? You there?" Lily smiled as brightly  
as she could at the moment. You see. Lily liked Travis. And she  
couldn't have any other guys coming on to HER Travis. They were not  
dating though. So it was wrong of her to be jealous. But not in her  
mind.  
  
Alex continues to stare at Travis, giggling a little bit. He was  
looking at the trees with a light smile on his face. Finally turning  
back toward Alex he continues smiling and says, "You know. .  
.Confucius Say: Baseball wrong. Man with four balls no walk."  
  
Alex's eyes go wide and sighs a little. "You are way deep! Oh my god.  
. . Like totally. You are so smart and intellectual."  
  
Travis just nods knowingly and grins. "Well Confucius Say: Man who  
keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"  
  
Alex looked adoringly at the boy and said, "Travis. You want to go out  
with me?!"  
  
Travis rolls his eyes before saying, "Confucius Say: Yes."  
  
Lily's eyes go extremely wide before walking away from the group  
stomping her feet.  
  
Ray grins at the havoc. Lily was mad at Travis now and now she would  
be all his. "Thanks man!" Ray says before running after Lily.  
  
Robbie just grins before nodding and saying, "Well I am off. Have fun  
you two love birds!"  
  
You see Robbie was the nicest one in the group.  
  
Travis grinned at Alex before saying, "I can talk normally too you  
know. I just talk this way to sound smart. Duhr. . . I mean I am  
smart. But still. I mean. . .Yeah. I like to show people that I am  
smart."  
  
Alex giggles a little before saying, "Yeah. That is so cute! That is  
way too sexy."  
  
Travis nods, a knowing smile covering his face. "I know."  
  
Alex continues to giggle before saying, "I know you guys' secret!"  
  
Travis looks at Alex and says, "Duhr. ..What?"  
  
Alex says, "Like. I totally know you guys are RFR!"  
  
Travis just shakes his head before saying, "No. You are wrong. . ."  
  
Alex says, "Nuh uh. I am right."  
  
"Fine. You caught us." Travis just smirks.  
  
Papa Beaver: That's all for today young'ns.  
  
Little Beaver #1: Awwww Papa!  
  
Little Beaver #2: No fair Papa!  
  
Papa Beaver: It will come in good time little ones. 


	3. First Time

Papa Beaver: Welcome to another night little ones. I'll continues where I left off. Let me see. . .  
  
Little Beaver #1: Alex just found out about RFR!  
  
Little Beaver #2: And she fell madly in love with Travis!  
  
Papa Beaver: Ahh. . .Yes. Righty then. . .  
  
Well the next day Travis and Alex have just finished making out for the first time. Because well, that's how I was told the story anyway. they had known each other not more than 24 hours and Travis, the Confuciust that he was, was making out with this girl. Drool comes down Travis' lip as he looks at Alex "Duuude. That was aweeeeeeeesome!"  
  
Alex giggles back at him and says, "Yeah I know. Tee hee." She giggles. And continues to. Giggle. Giggle. Giggle. And it kept going for many minutes.  
  
And Travis said, "This is good. You know. . .Confucius Say: Man Who Farts In Church Mut Sit In Own Pew."  
  
Alex looked at Travis in awe before saying, "Oh my god! TEEHEEEEE! You are so deep! I love you!"  
  
Travis ondded before a bright lightbulb appeared above his head. "You know what I think we should do all this week? Hell, I may even look like a freak. But I am in need of rhyme. . . All the time!"  
  
Alex nods and says, "Good, that is fine, But if it's hard. . .please. . . " She thinks for a moment. . . "Please don't WHINE!"  
  
Travis smirks, "You've got it! Please let me feel your left tit."  
  
Alex gasped before saying, "Let's do it now, on the floor--"  
  
Travis cuts her off and says, "Concrete floor. . .Might make us sore."  
  
Alex shakes her head, "Why the hell not, It won't make us rot. Others have written it into our lives, of course when I read it gave me friggen hives."  
  
Travis nodded. . .And the room faded to black as Travis used his supernatural powers to make the lights go down.  
  
Papa Beaver: *cough**cough**cough* I'll skip this part. . .  
  
Little Beaver #1: Is this the PORN PART!?!?!  
  
Little Beaver #2: Yeah it is! I've read this before I think . . .*giggle*  
  
Papa Beaver: Anyway. . .I think that's more than enough for now. . . I need to go to the uhm . . . bathroom now! *runs out as fast he can towards the bathroom*  
  
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A/N: Ok I realize this has taken forever to come out. . .but I have been horribly busy. So yeah. . . . Oh about Papa BEaver's last line. . .you can take that however you want to. . . So yeah. More chapters will be here soon! 


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